[ well, that's... fucking sad. adam wants to respond with snark but something about rowan's words makes him remember his own brush with death, and that puts him in a different headspace altogether. ]
[Once had been the last challenge he'd had in Court before he'd left; that cousin further down the ladder trying to erase a rung to bring himself closer to the throne. He'd thought Rowan an easy target. He'd been the third attempt. He'd also come closest, but Rowan had succeeded, and it wasn't his body that fed the earth that night. His blood, aye, but not his body.
Then there was his recent month or so with The Maestro. He suppose he'd come close quite a few times, since the torturer had to resort to magical means to heal him to keep him breathing. Keep him screaming.
He didn't send that, though. Lestat knew about it. Had found him afterwards. If he ever found out about Adam's past, he'd likely click the similarities and realize why Lestat kept pushing him at him.]
Having a higher chance of surviving it doesn't make it hurt less. Something tells me I'm not alone in that feeling.
[Again, not that he'd tell Adam yet, if at all, but in his healing, he'd read scars. Soul scars. They were deep and jagged and unhealed. Maybe he recognized them in himself, or vice versa. Either way...]
[ it figured. sometimes it seemed as though everyone close to lestat had been broken at least once in their life. adam had yet to figure out if lestat loved them because of it, or because he needed the distraction of fixing them - or, maybe, both. ]
you too, huh? it's weird once you go through it you find out it really isn't that uncommon
[ there's a pause. then, ]
was it as scary for you as it was for me?
[ he doesn't know what rowan gleaned from his body during their session, but he's learned enough about immortals to know that the other man probably learned a thing or two without adam needing to say them aloud. ]
I've lived through many, many wars, lad. And many human atrocities. Monsters wear all sorts of skin.
[War seemed to bring out this feral sort of monstrousness that made people think they had carte blanche to act their worst. He'd enjoyed doing 'clean up' in those eras. Proving someone wrong in thinking they were the baddest creature out there brought him a satisfaction that helped him sleep at night.]
That slip slide into the other side is always frightening. Our consciousness knows this life alone, so it's why we cling so fiercely to it. It's ours.
[ war is something adam only knows from seeing things on the news, yet sometimes he feels as if he's lived through one. it's nothing compared to rowan, though. ]
the other side?
is there really a place people go after they die?
i always figured that was it you're dead, and then there's nothing else
[ adam's heard all sort of things about what people believe happens after death, but he's too cynical to subscribe to any of them. he hasn't considered that immortal beings might know better than humans until this very moment. ]
wait so was i like a snail or something? once upon a time?
[He had to laugh at that. At least it kept him from banging his head on the wall.]
Possibly. Doubtful. My kind believe that souls are part of a whole of something. And in our making, we're given either a half of it, or pieces of it. It's why some of us find multiple fated mates in our life. Some have to wait until they're reborn. And when one of us passes, before or after we find the other part or parts of our whole, we get to try again in a new life.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2026-02-14 03:23 am (UTC)...probably. ]
no no you don't get it
he'd be fuckin' broken, man
i've had a front row seat to his concerts for MONTHS
you'd think he'd be over louis by now but he gets more intense about it every single night
so no dying
ok?
pinky promise >:(
no subject
Date: 2026-02-14 03:25 am (UTC)I can't do that. I'm not immortal from injury. I could die in a thousand years, or tomorrow. The Fates know when.
But I like to know that he's not going to be alone if that happens.
no subject
Date: 2026-02-14 04:31 pm (UTC)have you ever
yknow
died? or almost died?
no subject
Date: 2026-02-14 04:42 pm (UTC)[Once had been the last challenge he'd had in Court before he'd left; that cousin further down the ladder trying to erase a rung to bring himself closer to the throne. He'd thought Rowan an easy target. He'd been the third attempt. He'd also come closest, but Rowan had succeeded, and it wasn't his body that fed the earth that night. His blood, aye, but not his body.
Then there was his recent month or so with The Maestro. He suppose he'd come close quite a few times, since the torturer had to resort to magical means to heal him to keep him breathing. Keep him screaming.
He didn't send that, though. Lestat knew about it. Had found him afterwards. If he ever found out about Adam's past, he'd likely click the similarities and realize why Lestat kept pushing him at him.]
Having a higher chance of surviving it doesn't make it hurt less. Something tells me I'm not alone in that feeling.
[Again, not that he'd tell Adam yet, if at all, but in his healing, he'd read scars. Soul scars. They were deep and jagged and unhealed. Maybe he recognized them in himself, or vice versa. Either way...]
no subject
Date: 2026-02-14 04:51 pm (UTC)you too, huh?
it's weird
once you go through it you find out it really isn't that uncommon
[ there's a pause. then, ]
was it as scary for you as it was for me?
[ he doesn't know what rowan gleaned from his body during their session, but he's learned enough about immortals to know that the other man probably learned a thing or two without adam needing to say them aloud. ]
no subject
Date: 2026-02-14 04:54 pm (UTC)[War seemed to bring out this feral sort of monstrousness that made people think they had carte blanche to act their worst. He'd enjoyed doing 'clean up' in those eras. Proving someone wrong in thinking they were the baddest creature out there brought him a satisfaction that helped him sleep at night.]
That slip slide into the other side is always frightening. Our consciousness knows this life alone, so it's why we cling so fiercely to it. It's ours.
no subject
Date: 2026-02-15 12:33 am (UTC)the other side?
is there really a place people go after they die?
i always figured that was it
you're dead, and then there's nothing else
no subject
Date: 2026-02-15 02:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2026-02-15 02:50 am (UTC)is that a thing?
[ adam's heard all sort of things about what people believe happens after death, but he's too cynical to subscribe to any of them. he hasn't considered that immortal beings might know better than humans until this very moment. ]
wait so
was i like
a snail or something? once upon a time?
no subject
Date: 2026-02-15 02:53 am (UTC)Possibly. Doubtful. My kind believe that souls are part of a whole of something. And in our making, we're given either a half of it, or pieces of it. It's why some of us find multiple fated mates in our life. Some have to wait until they're reborn. And when one of us passes, before or after we find the other part or parts of our whole, we get to try again in a new life.