[ for the first time, adam feels afraid of rowan. but, at the same time, that warning reminds him of the memories he himself would rather keep locked away. ]
is it actually that dangerous? isn't it just a dream?
[ his nightmares have often left a physical imprint on him after he awoke, but none actually harmed him. ]
[The nurses were looking at him strangely as he banged his head against the wall again. This is what this child did to him. Arguing with a doctor over when humans grew oral bones. *bangbangbang*]
If it was just me he had, it would be tragic. But he has you, Louis, and others.
[Why was he talking about dying? Oh, right. Thoughts of his father. Impending doom. Lovely.]
[ well, that's... fucking sad. adam wants to respond with snark but something about rowan's words makes him remember his own brush with death, and that puts him in a different headspace altogether. ]
[Once had been the last challenge he'd had in Court before he'd left; that cousin further down the ladder trying to erase a rung to bring himself closer to the throne. He'd thought Rowan an easy target. He'd been the third attempt. He'd also come closest, but Rowan had succeeded, and it wasn't his body that fed the earth that night. His blood, aye, but not his body.
Then there was his recent month or so with The Maestro. He suppose he'd come close quite a few times, since the torturer had to resort to magical means to heal him to keep him breathing. Keep him screaming.
He didn't send that, though. Lestat knew about it. Had found him afterwards. If he ever found out about Adam's past, he'd likely click the similarities and realize why Lestat kept pushing him at him.]
Having a higher chance of surviving it doesn't make it hurt less. Something tells me I'm not alone in that feeling.
[Again, not that he'd tell Adam yet, if at all, but in his healing, he'd read scars. Soul scars. They were deep and jagged and unhealed. Maybe he recognized them in himself, or vice versa. Either way...]
[ it figured. sometimes it seemed as though everyone close to lestat had been broken at least once in their life. adam had yet to figure out if lestat loved them because of it, or because he needed the distraction of fixing them - or, maybe, both. ]
you too, huh? it's weird once you go through it you find out it really isn't that uncommon
[ there's a pause. then, ]
was it as scary for you as it was for me?
[ he doesn't know what rowan gleaned from his body during their session, but he's learned enough about immortals to know that the other man probably learned a thing or two without adam needing to say them aloud. ]
I've lived through many, many wars, lad. And many human atrocities. Monsters wear all sorts of skin.
[War seemed to bring out this feral sort of monstrousness that made people think they had carte blanche to act their worst. He'd enjoyed doing 'clean up' in those eras. Proving someone wrong in thinking they were the baddest creature out there brought him a satisfaction that helped him sleep at night.]
That slip slide into the other side is always frightening. Our consciousness knows this life alone, so it's why we cling so fiercely to it. It's ours.
[ war is something adam only knows from seeing things on the news, yet sometimes he feels as if he's lived through one. it's nothing compared to rowan, though. ]
the other side?
is there really a place people go after they die?
i always figured that was it you're dead, and then there's nothing else
[ adam's heard all sort of things about what people believe happens after death, but he's too cynical to subscribe to any of them. he hasn't considered that immortal beings might know better than humans until this very moment. ]
wait so was i like a snail or something? once upon a time?
[He had to laugh at that. At least it kept him from banging his head on the wall.]
Possibly. Doubtful. My kind believe that souls are part of a whole of something. And in our making, we're given either a half of it, or pieces of it. It's why some of us find multiple fated mates in our life. Some have to wait until they're reborn. And when one of us passes, before or after we find the other part or parts of our whole, we get to try again in a new life.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2026-02-14 02:29 am (UTC)is it actually that dangerous?
isn't it just a dream?
[ his nightmares have often left a physical imprint on him after he awoke, but none actually harmed him. ]
no subject
Date: 2026-02-14 02:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2026-02-14 02:37 am (UTC)i trust you, magic man
[ said with equal parts sass and affection. by now, adam's come to learn that even lestat doesn't know as much about magic-related things as rowan. ]
i'll tell you if the dreams change
i'm just grateful lestat isn't fucking murdering me in them any more
so
thanks for that
:)
no subject
Date: 2026-02-14 02:39 am (UTC)Since this line of conversation is open, about your diet. If you're not going to eat better than a wee lad of ten, then at least invest in vitamins.
no subject
Date: 2026-02-14 02:48 am (UTC)idk if you've seen him when he's sad but it's honestly traumatizing
makes me feel like a kicked a puppy
...but vitamins are gross
no subject
Date: 2026-02-14 02:50 am (UTC)Such is life when you eat like a toddler. Take a multivitamin. You're iron deficient and you're not in the sun enough, so you need vitamin D.
VITAMIN D, not vampire dick, which is where I'm assuming you'll go with that one.
no subject
Date: 2026-02-14 02:57 am (UTC)i don't eat like a toddler!!
toddlers can't chew
so how would they eat pizza and burgers?? huh???
...i was just gonna say vitamin dick but that's way better lol
how about i just come see you again and you fix me up, doc? that's way easier
plus i bet the littles miss me 😘
no subject
Date: 2026-02-14 03:00 am (UTC)[Why was he arguing with a child? Oh, right. Because he was Lestat's child. Obviously.]
I am a last resort. Imagine if I died? Then what would you do?
no subject
Date: 2026-02-14 03:08 am (UTC)trust me
you're not gonna die tho
you're like. more powerful than lestat
and way older
if u lived this long ur probably invincible!
also it would make lestat sad and you just said you don't wanna see him be sad again so. :p
no subject
Date: 2026-02-14 03:10 am (UTC)If it was just me he had, it would be tragic. But he has you, Louis, and others.
[Why was he talking about dying? Oh, right. Thoughts of his father. Impending doom. Lovely.]
no subject
Date: 2026-02-14 03:23 am (UTC)...probably. ]
no no you don't get it
he'd be fuckin' broken, man
i've had a front row seat to his concerts for MONTHS
you'd think he'd be over louis by now but he gets more intense about it every single night
so no dying
ok?
pinky promise >:(
no subject
Date: 2026-02-14 03:25 am (UTC)I can't do that. I'm not immortal from injury. I could die in a thousand years, or tomorrow. The Fates know when.
But I like to know that he's not going to be alone if that happens.
no subject
Date: 2026-02-14 04:31 pm (UTC)have you ever
yknow
died? or almost died?
no subject
Date: 2026-02-14 04:42 pm (UTC)[Once had been the last challenge he'd had in Court before he'd left; that cousin further down the ladder trying to erase a rung to bring himself closer to the throne. He'd thought Rowan an easy target. He'd been the third attempt. He'd also come closest, but Rowan had succeeded, and it wasn't his body that fed the earth that night. His blood, aye, but not his body.
Then there was his recent month or so with The Maestro. He suppose he'd come close quite a few times, since the torturer had to resort to magical means to heal him to keep him breathing. Keep him screaming.
He didn't send that, though. Lestat knew about it. Had found him afterwards. If he ever found out about Adam's past, he'd likely click the similarities and realize why Lestat kept pushing him at him.]
Having a higher chance of surviving it doesn't make it hurt less. Something tells me I'm not alone in that feeling.
[Again, not that he'd tell Adam yet, if at all, but in his healing, he'd read scars. Soul scars. They were deep and jagged and unhealed. Maybe he recognized them in himself, or vice versa. Either way...]
no subject
Date: 2026-02-14 04:51 pm (UTC)you too, huh?
it's weird
once you go through it you find out it really isn't that uncommon
[ there's a pause. then, ]
was it as scary for you as it was for me?
[ he doesn't know what rowan gleaned from his body during their session, but he's learned enough about immortals to know that the other man probably learned a thing or two without adam needing to say them aloud. ]
no subject
Date: 2026-02-14 04:54 pm (UTC)[War seemed to bring out this feral sort of monstrousness that made people think they had carte blanche to act their worst. He'd enjoyed doing 'clean up' in those eras. Proving someone wrong in thinking they were the baddest creature out there brought him a satisfaction that helped him sleep at night.]
That slip slide into the other side is always frightening. Our consciousness knows this life alone, so it's why we cling so fiercely to it. It's ours.
no subject
Date: 2026-02-15 12:33 am (UTC)the other side?
is there really a place people go after they die?
i always figured that was it
you're dead, and then there's nothing else
no subject
Date: 2026-02-15 02:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2026-02-15 02:50 am (UTC)is that a thing?
[ adam's heard all sort of things about what people believe happens after death, but he's too cynical to subscribe to any of them. he hasn't considered that immortal beings might know better than humans until this very moment. ]
wait so
was i like
a snail or something? once upon a time?
no subject
Date: 2026-02-15 02:53 am (UTC)Possibly. Doubtful. My kind believe that souls are part of a whole of something. And in our making, we're given either a half of it, or pieces of it. It's why some of us find multiple fated mates in our life. Some have to wait until they're reborn. And when one of us passes, before or after we find the other part or parts of our whole, we get to try again in a new life.